Death of Timmy and Katie

What has the Death of my Brother Tim and Sister Katie done to me?

I can say it has truly changed me. I can recall the moments like they were yesterday. The images and thoughts are burned in my mind.

Timmy died when he was 19 of a drug over dose. I can recall the moment I got the call from my Dad that Timmy was in route to the hospital via ambulance and that he most likely had already pass away.

It was one of those moments that stops you in your tracks.

I immediately went into a mode of needing to fix it. But I couldn’t fix it. I wasn’t open for God to help me with this event in my life. I didn’t reach out for help like I should have. I just focused on fixing and dealing with the situation the same way I do as a firefighter. Emotions weren’t going to get in the way and stop me from figuring out what I needed do. But really I couldn’t do anything. I was angry, hurt, confused and just had a loss of words. Timmy was my little brother who I loved and looked forward to growing older with. We had so many more memories still to go through. Timmy’s life was cut short because he chose a different path. He chose to get involved in something that could potentially kill him and that is exactly what it did.

All of us kids were brought up in a Christian home. Our parents taught us right from wrong. But sometime even though we know right from wrong we still choose the wrong route.

Proverb 22:6 says:

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is older he will not depart from it.

Just because Timmy and the rest of us were brought up in a Christian home doesn’t mean we won’t go through struggles.  Many of us have veered away just like Tim and have thankfully made our way back. God was still using Tim during these times to help others. During his Memorial service we heard countless stories where Tim had reached out to other. It is nice to know that Tim was still willing to help others and his death helped many young people change their lives.

Katie death affected me completely differently. Katie died of Colon Cancer in 2008 when she was 30 years old. Like Tim’s death it was also tragic. Katie’s death affected so many people. She had a husband with children. She had just had a baby 10 months prior to her death. Katie death showed me how important it is to leave a Legacy behind.

Katie and I had a close relationship and talked regularly, we seemed to go through struggles in life during the same times. Katie’s battle of cancer only lasted 7 weeks. During this time she reached out with her fingers and continued sharing through her journals http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/katieroth. It was amazing to watch how this simple young wife and mother had made a Legacy that would go worldwide and touch so many people’s lives. People were intrigued by the Faith that she had placed in her Lord and Savior to help her through this battle. God challenged Katie’s Faith and she had confidence that her God was going to take care of her and everyone around her.

During this time I was in a place in my Life that I was healthier and had my Controlling Nature in wraps. I didn’t turn into a fix it person I was in the past. God had helped me in my own struggles to look more towards Him and to use him as a guide. I have learned through many years of Godly counsel that I can get further in my Life with God’s help. It was amazing to see God working in the entire Family during this time of Katie’s sickness. Yes, there was a terrible amount of hurt we as a family were going through. But really that not what it is all about. It’s all about what am I doing and what I can do to affect others in the future after I am gone.

◊  Am I doing a good job at planting seeds and producing fruit that people are willing to see as a fruitful harvest?

God is looking at me and saying Robert you can be used just like your brother and sister. I can start a Legacy that can be just as fruitful. Who knows what God’s plan is and how He plans to use me.

◊   The question is am I willing to be USED?

I know that my fruit can be pretty sour at times. My attitude gets to be in the wrong place and I don’t produce the right fruit. I know this happens to us all. But that one time that I am producing that unwanted fruit might be that time that God really wanted to use me for something He had planned.

◊  Am I keeping myself available for God?

This is one of the things I have learned from the death of my brother and sister. Even though both of their deaths were completely different they both still had a profound impact on my life. They affected me and got me to look at things differently than before. I was now open to looking into my life and seeing the way I can affect others.

Death can be such a tragic event in our lives but like every event we come across we can choose to have this event help us or hinder us. These are events and hurdles that God has designed and he is putting us to the test. Am I going to shine during these tests or am I going to forget that He truly is in control of my life and can help me through this. God is here for us all and he has been here for me.  I have seen the difference between asking and not asking for God’s help.

2 Chronicles 15:2

The Lord is with you while you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you.

So in layman terms if you have a personal relationship with God and you choose to use Him then he makes himself available for you. If your choice is to go about this event without God than he will allow you to do this.

Figure out what way you want to go about your life. Through my trails I have found out that it seems to be easier to go through Life with God as my Guide.